


suburbia

by mewz



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Crushes, First Crush, High School, Humanstuck, M/M, One Shot, Questioning, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:21:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26377219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mewz/pseuds/mewz
Summary: dave and john walk home together and dave thinks a lot about. things.
Relationships: John Egbert & Dave Strider, John Egbert/Dave Strider, mentioned rosemary but im not tagging it
Kudos: 25





	suburbia

**Author's Note:**

> im still alive but my braincells have rotted away during quarantine so i have writers block. but good news, i think it's slowly going away, because i came up with this half decent idea and decided to write it in between online classes. enjoy! or don't, i understand lmao.
> 
> oh also suburbia by troye sivan is a good song, go listen to. this fic has nothing to do with it, though i just couldn't think of a title. still think it kinda fits the theme but this isn't a songfic or anything.

John and Dave always walked home from the bus together. It was a tradition of theirs that had lasted for years. A newer tradition, however, was Dave thinking about holding John's hand nearly every time. It wasjust right there and his teenage hormones were throwing Dave's certainty of his sexuality out the window. 

He's never had feelings like this. Sure he's had the odd crush on some girls he knew in elementary and middle school, but were those even on the same level as what he was feeling right here right now with John? He said he liked them, but… did he even know what that all meant? It’s not like he’s ever dated someone before, even though he was now a high schooler. All these years he’d said he liked someone, but never did anything about it. He’d always make excuses like not knowing the girl well enough, being too shy to ask her out, she just got out of a relationship, anything he could come up with to avoid acting on his so called crushes.

But now he wasn’t sure any of the crushes he said he’s had were real.

He’d always chosen girls he liked as friends to “crush” on, but that’s as far as his feelings went. The truth was the first and only person he’d actually had a crush on was John. Even knowing this, he wasn’t ready to admit it to himself. There were just way too many reasons it was so, so wrong.

The first and most obvious was that he was another boy. And Dave was so, so uncomfortable with the idea of himself crushing on another boy. He wasn’t even sure why. He didn’t mind other people being gay or anything - which he’d learned from Rose so obviously lusting after that foreign exchange student Kanaya - but for some reason, the idea of him, Dave fucking Strider, being into dudes just felt so wrong.

Second of all, they were best friends. As Dave was lost in thought, they were walking home together in comfortable silence as they had for years nearly every day. He couldn’t imagine having to sit with someone else on the bus or walking separately from John after losing him as a friend because of a definite rejection. And yes, he was sure it’d be definite. There was no way John “Not a homosexual” Egbert was into dudes too. He’s crushed on so many girls, even asking this girl Roxy out back in freshman year.

It hadn’t worked out in the end, Roxy dumping him for some bullshit reason John never really got into after the breakup, but Dave was somehow jealous of the relationship even existing in the first place. It was nothing like the fake crushes Dave convinced himself he’d had, no, there was definitely something there. John blamed himself for everything that went wrong in the relationship and was pretty shaken up for a few weeks. He genuinely really liked her, and you couldn’t say the same for the girls Dave used to “crush” on. He couldn’t even remember some of their names.

As Dave continued to ponder all these weird feelings, John said something he didn't really process. Shit, he had really zoned out there, stuck on this incredibly gay train of thought, unable to get off until now.

“Huh?” Dave said, returning back to reality.

“I said bye, this is my house. You ok, Dave? You looked pretty out pf it this whole time.” John asked, genuine concern written all over his face.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. Just tired. Long day today.”

“Oh, ok. Well, text me later I guess! See ya!” John said, waving as he walked backwards and up his driveway like the huge adorable dork he was.

Yeah no, there’s no way a guy like that would feel the same way he did.

Little did Dave know, John was thinking the exact same thing as he turned his back to Dave and unlocked his front door.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!


End file.
